The Housekeeper

Pemberly was most definitely grand, but not in the sense that I expected it to be. It was impressive, but not overly boastful, and though it was a large mansion, it had a warmth to it that I cannot explain. The housekeeper helping with the tour had nothing but good things to say about Darcy as a boy, and I was very surprised to hear this. I wondered who Darcy was fooling- this single housekeeper or me and generally the rest of Hertfordshire? Suddenly Darcy himself appeared, and in his own home he seemed to act as the kind gentleman that the housekeeper had described. I was shocked at this change of character, and I am beginning to question if Mr. Darcy is a more dimensional person than I thought.

The Mansion Tour

I have agreed to tour the Pemberly estate due to the fact that Mr. Darcy is not residing there right now. I will be going with the Gardiners, and I am quite anxious to see what this supposedly lovely house looks like. If Lady Catherine's house is any indication, it is sure to be grand. I wonder if his house reflects his awful personality. I expect it to be overly formal and cold-feeling, just like Darcy himself.

Jane's Support

I revealed the proposal to Jane, and my dear sister had nothing but sympathy for me. I may find her naive and silly at times, but I have come to realize that maybe it is better to judge no one than to have prejudice against everyone. Maybe Jane knows what she is doing after all. I also told Jane about Wickham, and she was so awfully surprised. But knowing Jane, she probably still does not think poorly of him. How my judging mother happened to have such an unbiased thinker for a daughter, I really have no idea.

Lydia

My sister Lydia is so much like my mother. She is easily excited, full of emotion, and always wants to hear the latest gossip. So it was no surprise that when I arrived home, all that silly Lydie could talk about was the militia (she is incredibly boy crazy these days) and all of the pretty dresses and hats she saw. That frivolous girl even suggested that we should all go to follow the militia to the next town over, but of course I refused. What would I possibly say to Mr. Wickham?

The Fake Marriage

I have been staying with Charlotte and Collins for several weeks now, and it is so apparent to me that they are married for social status and for convenience. It would be so much better if they were open about this fact instead of trying to cover it up to their visitors. Not only are they trying to fool others, but they seem to have succeeded in fooling themselves. But not me; I know that Collins and Charlotte are not in love. I wonder if my dear cousin realizes how wrong he is?

Epiphany

I received a letter from Mr. Darcy explaining what he said about his proposal. At first I believed that this piece of paper was only more lies and deserved to be shredded and burned, but then I began to see the truth in the letter. I thought not only about myself but about the connection between my family and his. This is when I had an epiphany: I am just as bad as Darcy. I am full of myself and I draw conclusions about situations I really know nothing about. The letter cast a mirror in front of me and forced me to look closely and analyze myself. Hopefully I can change for the better.

The Proposal

This will be the second time a man who is completely ill-equipped to be my husband has proposed to me in my life. Why is it that I attract such lousy men? I would never think that a proposal of marriage could get any worse than what Collins is capable of, but oh, how wrong I was. Darcy ( yes, DARCY) proposed to me while at the exact same time offended me in every way possible. Who else in this world could tell a women he was in love with her, then continue on to verbally slap her in the face repeatedly? Of course, I wouldn't stand for any of this, so I fought him right back. What else was I supposed to do? Cower down like my sister Jane would and just take all of the insults? I don't think so. I am so angry at that ridiculous liar.